Not Like My Mother – Becoming a sane parent after growing up in a crazy family
By Irene Tomkinson, MSW
WHAT HAS BEEN SAID ABOUT IRENE…
“A successful therapist, Irene is a gifted teacher and communicator. She takes complicated psychological constructs and puts them into language that is easily understood. She weaves her own powerful story of recovery and spiritual awakening into her teaching. I wish I had read this book when my kids were younger. It would have saved so much angst. Her book and workshops have opened my eyes. My relationship with my children is better than it has ever been...not just with my children but with everyone…including the relationship I have with myself.”
Bonnie P. (workshop participant) ….go to Irene’s website to see more testimonials
WHAT IRENE SAYS….
You love your children more than you knew you could ever love. You also know you grew up in a crazy- dysfunctional family. And you are definite that you want your kids to have a much different childhood than you had.
How are you going to do it? I-am-not-doing-to-my-kids-what-my-parents-did-to-me method of parenting is not a plan – it is a reaction. If you want to build a dream house you don’t call a contractor and only give him a list of what you don’t want. There would be no house. And you don’t want your new home to be built on a toxic foundation.
Until we know how our childhoods landed on us and what we did with the impact, our history will push us around in our present lives without our permission.
As we become conscious of our stories and learn how our history landed on us, we find compassion for ourselves. This compassion releases us to move forward. We learn how to discharge the voltage that keeps us stuck in our old story.
Becoming conscious of our childhood story is more than being able to recite the events. Becoming conscious is learning how your experiences made you feel and what you did with those feelings.
In Not Like My Mother, I share my story as a therapist for 25 years, my training as an early childhood specialist, my years of leading workshop and retreats that have helped thousands of people find empowerment and freedom. And most importantly I share my own story of recovery as a mom who went from asking “Parenting when is the @#$% job done” (I was asking this when my girls were 35 & 36!) to recognizing how my daughters are my teachers and how they have been a big part in the healing of my childhood pain. I have moved from being a parent with a not-going-to-do-it-like-my-mother plan to a parent who is able to show up as the best parent I can possibly be.